The Radical Feminist Blues...

I spoke with a bishop friend this week and asked him to explain to me just exactly what a, “radical feminist” is.  He said he didn’t have the foggiest. 

Since I wrote my last blog article, I’ve been thinking a lot about poor Cardinal Ray Burke.  He would have been a young adult during the Second Vatican Council when Catholics’ proverbial cheese was moved.  Being from Wisconsin where people take their cheese seriously enough to adorn their heads with it during sporting events, I realized that cheese moving is no easy thing for poor Ray.  So, on this whole “respect women” and “women’s equality” thing, he’s just stuck – culturally incapable of moving his cheese.  After all, there’s a Green Bay Packers game this Sunday and that cheese needs to be firmly affixed to his head, like for any good Wisconsin native.

In all seriousness, Ray's father died when he was very young.  I have to wonder how that loss was handled and how all that impacted his development, including his views on gender roles.  He speaks of the importance of manly male fathers forming their children properly, yet it seems his own father was gone long before Ray hit adolescence.  Could he be projecting his romanticized notions of fathers (and mothers) upon the world as ideal based upon a void from his own life?  His words certainly seem to come from an alternate reality than the one I know, but then my father is still with me.  I do not have to imagine what it's like to have a father; I just experience it.

Nonetheless, sometimes when you so insistently remain in one place as Ray tries to do, you wind up moving in comparison to others.  If they move forward, you move backward in comparison.  Similarly one’s actions or inaction can result in unintended consequences.

In my last blog article, I indicated that Ray’s insistence to retain the church’s historical sexist and misogynist culture by declaring the female church was too feminine, he created unintended consequences.  By saying the female church was too feminine he opened the possibility to saying the church’s clergy was too masculine.  Thus, he theologically opened the door for female ordinations. 

Upon further review, he actually created a second more likely unintended consequence.  Ray’s probably going to insist that the clergy must remain male.  And so, by advocating for a more masculine church (which is supposed to be a female married to Christ and his proxies, the clergy) while insisting that the clergy remain 100% male, he is in fact saying that he advocates for the male hierarchy to marry the male church…a model for same sex marriage.

Now I realize these unintended consequences from his vociferous protection of the church’s historical sexist and misogynist attitudes might not be easy for a guy from Wisconsin…it’s more cheese movement.  So, I got to thinking that Cardinal Burke also spent four years as archbishop of St. Louis, Missouri – an historical home of blues music.  With that in mind, the Spirit again moved me to compose a song on behalf of Ray.  I call it, “The Radical Feminist Blues.”

Here’s a link to the YouTube vocal recording of the song. http://youtu.be/W86buxwFh04

Here are the lyrics:

The Radical Feminist Blues

Now poor Ray, he ain’t got a clue

What radical feminists actually do

He’s got the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, says it ain’t o.k.

For women to do stuff ‘cept pay, pray, obey

He’s got the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, thinks it’s absurd

For women in the church to actually be heard

It gives him the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Workin’ and prayin’ and fashion displayin’, he’s got the radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, he thinks it’s a fright

If women should have equal rights

It gives him the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, thinks it’s pretty shoddy

That women might know what’s best for their body

It gives him the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, finds it silly

Unless women dress like him, really frilly

It gives him the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Workin’ and prayin’ and stylin’ and brayin’, he’s got the radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, He doesn’t find it funny

When women help the poor but don’t send him money

It gives him the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, feels the earth falter

Whenever he sees a woman on the altar

It gives him the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, it makes his hair curl

To even think of an altar girl

It gives him the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Workin’ and prayin’ ‘til his hair is grayin’, he’s got the radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, feels his manhood decline

Unless he’s surrounded by men of his kind

He gets the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, says genders complement

As long as the women stay in their own tent

Or else it’s the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Now poor Ray, he likes women a lot

Just not to hang with, that's moral rot

It gives him the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

Workin’ and prayin’ and fashion displayin’, he’s got the radical feminist blues

Workin’ and prayin’ and stylin’ and brayin’, he’s got the radical feminist blues

Workin’ and prayin’ ‘til his hair is grayin’, he’s got the radical feminist blues, radical feminist blues

His cheese got moved; it cramped his groove

Poor Ray…

Jesus, Please Send Us More Manly Men

Mystery solved.  Raymond Cardinal Burke will star in the “Our Gang” sequel, “Spanky Gets Older But Never Grows Up.”   He does somewhat resemble Spanky McFarland, does he not?

The plotline would center completely on Spanky (a.k.a. Cardinal Burke) trying to resurrect his “He-man Woman Haters Club” through hosting Catholic Men’s Conferences around the world.  I can see no other explanation for Burke spouting such unsubstantiated sexist psychobabble about raising “manly men” in his interview on the Misogynists-R-Us website, “The New E-man-gelization.”  (By the way, if you’d like a veritable “Who’s Who” list of Catholic sexist and misogynist speakers, direct your eyes to the right nav list entitled, “Men’s Conference Speakers” on this site.  I attended the Michigan Statewide Catholic Men’s Conference a few years ago and heard several of these guys speak and it was hour upon hour of non-stop Burke-esque sexisms, misogyny, and poor theology.)

As you may recall, Cardinal Burke was recently reassigned from being Prefect of the Apostolic Signatura...somewhat the chief justice of the Vatican’s highest court…to being the Patron of the Sovereign Order of the Knights of Malta.  After reading Burke’s full interview transcript, it should crystallize in your mind why Pope Francis re-assigned Burke to be the spiritual guide of a Middle Ages religious order.  It would seem that is his preferred time period in which to operate.

Without reading the transcript, you can probably guess the sorts of things Burke says…women and gays are to blame for men leaving the church and clergy shortages…girls shouldn’t be altar servers because they lack the proper discipline and reverence…an undefined group of “radical feminists” scared men from getting married because women keep demanding rights and somehow this confused guys so they decided to be gay instead…manly men need to dress like men and then they'll want to be priests…children need their dads to be “real men” who are clear, firm and disciplined – evidently qualities he feels mothers incapable of demonstrating.  There was a 100+ car pile-up in Michigan tonight and I think women might be responsible for that too.

Burke says it’s natural for males to eschew hanging out with females.  He also advises priests to encourage developing manly men by being manly themselves and by giving special attention to other men.  This should not in any way be confused with a same sex attraction on the part of the cleric, I guess.  Eschewing women and giving men special attention is, according to Burke, the best way to be manly.  Why do I suddenly find myself contemplating if Burke was a “Village People” fan?

If you know Burke’s clerical fashionista tendencies, you are probably still collecting yourself after reading his highly ironic statement that men need to dress like manly men.  Burke’s outfits have a definitive effeminate air and likely have more silk, lace and bling per square inch than any other living ordained cleric or woman…anywhere…on this planet.    

I don’t have the time or ambition to offer point by point corrections to his numerous factually unfounded statements.   However, I do feel it important to highlight Burke’s apparent gross theological error.  It is so significant that I question his fitness to act as an apostle. 

Burke said that the church was “too feminine” and this scared away men.  Excuse me Ray, but Catholic theology teaches that Holy Mother Church is in fact a real honest to goodness, actual factual female.  Thus, there is no such thing as the church being “too feminine.” 

If Ray wants to tamper with making the female church more manly, then perhaps he is also open to making the male clergy more feminine?  You see, the church hierarchy defines the church’s anthropology as hinging on having real men as priests marry the real-deal female church.  The hierarchy teaches this as foundational for establishing male/female only marriages – they must imitate and reflect this mystical union between the male clergy and female church. 

If Ray thinks the female church needs to be more manly, it stands to reason that he thinks it’s ok that women serve in the male clergy role.  Extra! Extra! Read all about it; Cardinal Burke makes theological case for ordaining women!  Thanks, Ray. 

Anyway, when I read Burke’s "manly men" statements, I find myself humming country tunes about pick-up trucks, dogs, tight jeans and misfortune.  So, let’s just say maybe that’s what inspired me to compose this short pray in song form – as a little “thank you” to Ray for indirectly creating a slam-dunk theological case for women’s ordination.

Here's the link to the YouTube of the song:

http://youtu.be/AzTO6zdtQVU

And, here are the lyrics if you’d like to sing along:

Jesus, Please Send Us More Manly Men

Jesus, please send us more manly men

The kind who like to dress up like a man

Wearing dresses on the altar of God

Jesus, please send us more manly men

The kind who don’t like no girls next to them

Wearing dresses on the altar of God

Jesus, please send us more manly men

The kind giving special attention to other men

Wearing dresses on the altar of God

Jesus, please send us more manly men

Selfless and disciplined to take rights from women

Wearing dresses on the altar of God