Should women try to imitate Mary?

This past week was the Feast of the Assumption of Mary, celebrating the hierarchy’s belief that Mary didn’t die but was assumed into heaven, body and soul.  Many people vigorously debate, “Did she or didn’t she die?”  However, since church hierarchy teach Mary represents the pinnacle of being a good female, wife and mother, my questions tend to concern her life more than her death (or non-death).

Mary and I have the same standard equipment package because we are both females.  But beyond broad physical similarities tied to common gender, I mostly see major differences between our lives.

	Me	Mary as Portrayed by the Hierarchy
Began life	Born into “original sin” in need of redemption	Born pre-redeemed, “immaculately conceived”, free from sin
Lived	Trying to avoid sin but nonetheless committing sins here and there along life’s journey	100% sinless
Was educated	Kindergarten through undergraduate degree in public schools and earned a master degree from a Catholic university	At home and most likely was illiterate
Worked	Outside the home providing for myself and my family, and paying taxes	At home as a wife and mother
Conceived child(ren)	Within my marriage	Before her marriage – what today would be labeled a “welfare momma”, assumed to be expecting others to provide for her and her kid
Had first child	When I was in my twenties	As a teenager
Children’s conception occurred	Via sexual intercourse with husband	Via Holy Spirit “overshadowing” her
Learned about pregnancy	Via a pregnancy test administered by my doctor	Via an angel of the Lord appearing to her – a bit more dramatic than my experience
Gave birth	In a hospital paid for by my insurance	In the stable of an inn and who knows how or if she paid for it
Children’s birth was attended by	Husband, obstetrician, nurses	Husband, donkey, sheep, goats, cattle…perhaps dogs, cats, a chicken or two and some mice
New child visited by	Family, friends and the pediatrician	Shepherds and 3 astrologers from Asia who were all complete strangers – did no one they knew visit these people?
Had	Human daughters who are good kids but still commit sins here and there along life’s journey	One son who was a sinless human/god
Raised	Multiple children and thus refereed profound sibling interactions such as “Make her stop looking out my window!”	One child so she missed out on lots of parenting’s most challenging and rewarding experiences
Needed to	Deal with children’s sins	Endure watching her sinless kid be killed
Grew by	Learning from my mistakes, and loving kids beyond their sins	????  When you’re born sinless and have one sinless kid, how much growing do you require?
Was pregnant	While raising other children and working fulltime outside the house – this is a HUGE challenge	Without the strain of other children or working outside the home
Developed	Emotional and physical intimacy with spouse aligned with church teachings on marriage	Only emotional intimacy with spouse and thereby contradicted church teachings about performing one’s “marital duty”
Spousal physical intimacy is taught by church hierarchy to be	Beautiful, natural and necessary – grounds for annulment if not performed	“Stained”, “spotted”, and “sinful” since her perpetual virginity is taught as preserving her as “stainless”, “unspotted” and “sinless”
Travelled to other countries	By car, plane, boat and train with passport and visa in hand	On foot or the back of a donkey without giving any cares regarding border crossing as an alien
Resided	In different towns and states in my home country	In a foreign country as a refugee alien, as well as in different towns and regions within her native country
Eventually	Will die	Was sucked into heaven as though by a Holy Hoover vacuum

There are vast differences in women’s lives as well as marriage and motherhood experiences.  This is especially true when it comes to Mary.  She was sinless raising a sinless kid.  That’s a very different experience than the rest of humanity.  How do you then say, “But you should imitate it?”  If God wanted another sinless human, doesn’t God have the power to cause another person to be born pre-redeemed, free from original sin?  Quite simply, if God wanted me to be Mary, why didn’t God just make another Mary? 

I think a lot of people experience emotional and spiritual angst pursuing someone else’s calling rather than their own.  Why do Church leaders encourage women to imitate Mary rather than pursue their own genuine and unique callings?  Wouldn’t it be better to advise people to pursue who God asked them to be rather than who God asked somebody else to be?

Do church leaders really want women to imitate Mary which would include her marital relations with her husband?  The church and humanity would become extinct pretty quickly.

Do Church leaders try to appeal to women’s egos by putting Mary on a pedestal and then encouraging women to strive towards an unachievable goal imitating her?  Is this a feigned “honoring” of women meant to divert attention from marginalization and discrimination of women in the church? 

To me, Mary isn’t any stronger role model for me as a woman than she is for any man.  She shows men and women how to defer their personal will to the will of God.  That carries no gender specificity.